Shuk-Tzchok 😄
All in jest — these aren't real listings
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Realtor's Second-Hand Conscience — Barely Used
Arrived in original packaging. Unopened since 1998. Perfect for someone who wasn't looking for one anyway.
Share on WhatsAppElection Promises — Full Box, Expired
A whole crate of promises. None fulfilled. Great condition for the next election cycle.
Share on WhatsAppPlumber Who Shows Up On Time — Rare Find, Last One in Stock
Yes, he exists. No, we're not giving you his number.
Share on WhatsAppBabysitter Who Won't Fall Asleep on Your Couch — New in Box, Untested
Confirms she'll stay awake all evening. Yet to be independently verified.
Share on WhatsAppPlant for Sale — Still Alive. Barely.
Survived three owners, two forgotten waterings, and one move abroad. Choosing life.
Share on WhatsAppWi-Fi Router — Emotionally Disconnects Occasionally. Functional.
Works great, except when it's in its feelings. A hard reboot is basically therapy.
Share on WhatsAppSecond-Hand Mattress — Has Seen Things. Won't Talk About Them.
Kept its secrets for years. Will continue to do so. Absolute discretion guaranteed.
Share on WhatsApp"Like New" Car — According to the Dealer. Translation: Wake Up Screaming.
Like new, if your definition of new includes 12 previous owners and a deep pizza aroma.
Share on WhatsAppUncle's First-Hand Car — Uncle: Secret Racing Driver
First owner, technically true. Uncle just failed to mention it only ever saw unofficial race tracks.
Share on WhatsApp"Spacious" 2-Room Apartment — Spacious for 1.5 People
Like every listing, "spacious" refers to potential. The potential: remove the walls.
Share on WhatsAppQuiet Neighbor for Rent — Rare Find, Last One in Stock
Doesn't play trumpet. Doesn't own a dog. Doesn't argue about the parking. As rare as a unicorn.
Share on WhatsAppWanted: Employee Who Loves Challenges — Meaning the Salary
Dynamic environment, exciting puzzles, and room to grow — mainly in patience.
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